I defended the Capitol on January 6. The rioters think they’ve won.

I didn’t face the mob on January 6 just to back down now.

Photograph Courtesy of HBO

I was a cop for 20 years. I joined the Metropolitan Police Department in Washington, D.C. after the September 11 attacks, and spent the better part of my career as a plain-clothes narcotics officer. I’ve entered drug houses to execute undercover buys, infiltrated the networks of big-time dealers, and chased down more criminals than I can count. I always figured this was what I was going to do forever. Then came January 6.

On the morning of the most serious assault on the American government in living memory, I was technically off-duty. I wasn’t scheduled to start my shift until later that day, but when I turned on my TV and saw what was going down at the Capitol, there was no way I was staying home. I self-deployed and headed to the Capitol. I spent my career confronting danger; I wasn’t going to back down now.

I’ve never seen such a dire scenario for law enforcement. About 1,400 cops—many of whom, like me, had shown up under their own initiative—were fighting to hold back more than 8,000 armed and dangerous rioters. We worked to keep them out of the building for as long as we could. Once they broke in, we tried to deflect them away from the lawmakers who were inside, both Republicans and Democrats who were equally defenseless against the criminals roaming the halls shouting “where’s Nancy?” and “hang Mike Pence!”

The fighting was bad where I was. At one point, I got dragged into the crowd. Rioters beat me with their fists and hard metal objects. I was struck with a flagpole bearing either the American flag or maybe Donald Trump’s MAGA flag. Someone grabbed for my gun over and over again, while another person nearby shouted, “kill him with his own gun!” Somehow, I was able to extricate myself from the mob and make my way back to safety among my fellow officers.

In the aftermath of the attack, I did what I assumed every other officer—and every other decent human being—would do. I called out the attacks, loudly and forcefully. I told people what had happened to me, and I honored the memory of our fallen brother Brian Sicknick. Along with my friends Harry Dunn, Aquilino Gonell, Daniel Hodges, and others, I testified before the House Select Committee on the January 6 Attack, telling the world what happened to frontline law enforcement personnel that day.

I expected America to have our back, just like we’d had theirs when everything was on the line. I was wrong. 

Instead, I got viciously attacked by the kinds of people who fly “Back the Blue” flags and talk about their support for “law and order.” I was called a liar, a weakling, a plant, a conspiracy theorist— anything you can think of. My family and I were targeted with daily threats and harassment. That was the thanks I got for my service.

Like a lot of people in law enforcement, I initially supported Donald Trump in 2016. I had my doubts about him, but I still voted for him the first time. It didn’t take long for me to realize during his first term that this guy was a fraud, a conman, and a phony. I never supported him again. And in the years since, Trump has been the undisputed leader of the nationwide conspiracy cult that still works to downplay the events of January 6 and denigrate the service of the officers who were present that day.

And here’s the worst part about it: Right now, those people think they’ve won. Donald Trump pardoned all the rioters who attacked the Capitol immediately after being inaugurated. He’s forced the Republican Party, including those I protected that day, to swallow his Big Lie, and to repeat it to their followers over and over again. And he’s attacked anyone in law enforcement who dares tell the truth about his wannabe dictator shtick. All of this from the party that I was raised my entire life to believe had cops’ backs.

For the rest of us, the question is: what are we going to do about it? Right now, Trump and his minions are destroying our democracy and wrecking the economy. For Trump, anyone who doesn’t roll over for him—cops, prosecutors, politicians, anyone—is a Deep State plant, a traitor, an anti-American coward. They’re expecting that everyone who opposes them will just shut up and take it. To accept their lies and roll over. To just go away.

They’re wrong. If we’re serious about meeting this threat head-on, we need people everywhere—average, normal, sane people who see what’s going on and don’t support it—to stand up and speak now. We need to hear from people who have been hurt by this administration, so others can see the true damage Trump is doing every day. We need people to be brave.

We need these stories out there, because that’s the first step in fighting back. That’s why I’m part of Home of the Brave, because I believe it’s still critical to tell my story, for anyone who’s willing to listen. And if you have a story about the harm Trump is doing, you should tell it too. Because if now isn’t the right time to speak out, when is?

One thing you learn from being a cop for 20 years is that you can’t back down. A bully like Trump only responds to strength. You have to meet them head-on, or they’re just going to roll you over. 

I didn’t face down the mob on January 6 just to back down now. I’m not going away. And you shouldn’t either.

Michael Fanone is a former police officer who defended the Capitol on January 6. He is an Advisory Board Member and Spokesman for Home of the Brave.